survey

where do you go when you're searching? who do you ask when you're there?

I have always been trying to understand what it is I am searching for. This constant nagging, or maybe longing, for truly God knows what. Do you watch where you go? When do you notice you are gone? when am I searching? when am I not?

what I am excavating my life for?

I’m an honorable archaeologist at best.

I have found myself,

• down by the water

• the first place I saw the nyc skyline 6 years ago (behind the tj in bk) ate an apple there recently and it reeked of dog piss

• the back of the cemetery that overlooks east ny

• the back of the cemetery that overlooks the railroad tracks

• up by the water

• with the smallest pebbles in a ice cold ankle deep stream

• in the space between two trees where the grass can begin to grow soft and lush again

  .

  are you following? there is a quiz

  .

• far away

• far far away

• too far away

• and then further

• utterly lost

• isolated

• stranded

• too surrounded

• searching for a 7 or 19

  

  

• in airless rooms

• lying

• blaming

• moralless

• pitiful

• in the back of my closet

• the back of my parents closet

• in the towering corn

where have you been when you finally look up?

who are you thinking of? or is it a what?

I suppose a who is a what to a final degree and that is kinda the whole problem.